Blame Game.

ok.

So here is the deal. I really am depressed. I can't seem to focus on anything important.

I feel terribly alone and I hate where I live. I absolutely hate this place.
I hate being around my brother. I do not trust him, he was written off ages ago as nothing more than a nuisance, and seems to keep up at pretty well. On top of that I blame my father for dragging me here, so I barely speak to him. I've come to the conclusion that the only thing that kept me sane living at home was the dog. I miss her terribly, oddly enough it was my one "person" to talk to and that made me smile. Without her around this place is just full of resentment and hurt feelings.
Of course, I also have to pay rent to live in such a wonderful place.

I'm just afraid that this winter is going to swallow me whole and nothing is going to be the same afterwards. I plan on moving out this summer. But moving on is better term. I just really want to get away from all of it. Family just isn't what it used to be. I remember the days when I had a love of my own and we would spend nights at D's own apartment for movies and have dinner with the parents and play with my nephew. Everything just seem to fit. Now I can't help but let everything rub me the wrong way and want nothing more than to just be as far away from it as possible. To forget this place even exists. Storage more than anything.

I just need to focus. Take my mind off of it.

This rooms always seems to be getting smaller...