A break from the silence.

Wow.

It feels like it's been ages since we've last spoke. Let me tell you that there has really been a lot happening. I'm starting to figure out life I think. It's like how people always talk about their values and beliefs but they don't always follow them themselves. Because we live as we live and say these things to people think we have things figured out. When really most people don't really know how life works. Whether what we are doing is right? Whether our lives make us happy? All the what if's and what mights that go along with making both good and bad memories in all our years so far on earth.

Like a lot of people I just felt really like everyone had their lives figured out but me. Always paranoid with not doing enough, or that I always wasted my time on things.

But I've actually been terribly happy lately.

Now don't get me wrong, there has been a lot on my mind. Lots of stress and trying to get to where I want to be.

But lately. I've been happy with the search and happy with being in transition.

I think a big thing is my new ability of being able to let people in and getting to know people better. I'm still not really sure how to handle it all quite yet but it's nice to connect with everyone on a level I never really knew how to. The way you make your closest friends. The only problem is I don't know how to manage them once we become friends. Just seems like there isn't enough time to get to everyone each day and when you stop talking to someone because you have too many other people that ask you to do things with them, they tend to hold it against you. ha. that was a little wordy, but I hope it makes sense.

Just seems to be a double edged sword is all.

I just think that being happy where you are is the only way to be happy in life. No matter who you are, where you live, how much you make, life is always going to have it's ups and downs. Every walk of life has it's positives. Things to learn, different things to do. As long as you are open to it, you can find good in everything. Just have to be accepting.

I guess this kind of goes into the grass is always greener saying. But it's sort of true. I mean it would be nicer to have more money right now. But I think when I get there I'll be able to appreciate it and not get dragged into the politics of having money.

ha but yeah. I like to rant. If it's not already apparent

I'm comfortable now just being single and meeting people. Going places randomly, making new friends. Something I didn't do much for a while. Things got stagnant and I started getting bored. But I know when I really find someone that I want to be with, whether someone new or someone that i just realize I can't be without. I will love them. Love them with everything I have.

well alright. I could talk for hours. But hopefully someone will make it through the whole thing without getting bored!

I'll be writing more soon..

...so they're not as long as this.