Influence..

It's a long winding road. I'll give it that.

Been just a little intense lately. There have been too many changes that it's hard to keep up.
I'm just searching right now. I have a direction. It's just this whole one step at a time.

The rest is rocking and rolling.

Now. The reason I have this thing in the first place. Love talk.
No idea what I'm doing with that right now.
There really isn't anyone in my life right now that can really fill the role. They all have one tragic flaw that just prevents my heart from getting close. Whether it be personality or distance, it's always something. I crave it though. I will admit that. I've actually thought about my ex lately for some reason. Not that anything would happen with that, I think it's just because that's what was last. It was actually a fantastic relationship. He was so supportive and so much fun to be around. But like always, it's all part of the process of growing and learning. So it happens.
I guess I'm just trying to get a feel for what's right. What if I do get a boyfriend right now? How would the summer be? What if I start making fantastic money? When I can actually go out and spend it and enjoy myself. Boys eat that up. ha. So is it better to be single and just focus on what i'm doing until i'm making enough to turn my attentions elsewhere? or is it better to find someone soon who will support me through this process and know that he was there from the beginning? Maybe I'm over-thinking like always.

I think in starting to love myself and the things in my life, I've just been flooded with a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. It's unreal.
I just want the love songs. The days together. Holding hands. The good stuff.

Maybe I just need to quit listening to John Meyer. haha.

Show me a guy who's worth it and I'll show you a girl who knows just how to love... :P