Splashing

Everything moves in waves.

LIght, sound, energy itself even.

I think love moves in waves. Of belief.

I was just listening to Dashboard Confessional tonight. His earlier songs, Standard Lines, Saints and Sailors, those. I layed my head back and closed my eyes and tried to picture what these songs used to mean to me. They were teen angst anthems that were perfectly versed and express anger and all the pains of getting your heart broken for the first time.. and he is right. We can all remember it. How it felt, how things looked differently afterwards and you started learning about trust and how not to give it out so easily. Those of us in my generation remember how those songs just hurt when you heard them. He knew exactly what we were all feeling inside. When reality is introduced to your dreams.

I just wonder.

In all the disbelief that comes afterwards. Does it ever come back? Right now i'm still really afraid of love. But thinking about it so much and remembering what it feels like makes we want to put all my troubles away and just fall into it. Can I build myself back up to that point again? Or has my life changed enough where I wouldn't be able to stand it?

I just wonder who will it be? What qualities will he posess?
But my life has been mainly made up of powerful women and their effects on me show up in everything I do. I've learned more from women in this world than any men. Mom of course, for raising me. Then all the girlfriends I have taught me how to live and love. All in their own ways, but I think I've taken the best lesson from all of them.

Kinda fun waiting to find out. What if I don't find anyone? How long will I have to wait? I'm comfortable where i'm at. So I guess we will see...