Conceptual Love.

So ok. I'm having a bit of a freak out. But don't worry too much, it's just about grasping an understanding, so nothing bad.

I'm trying to figure out a little more about Love. How it works, how it changes, how we percieve it at different moments in our lives. Then how those moments have to meet up just right in order for two people just ot fall for each other.

As we grow older we become over protective and begin to second guess ourselves about what or who we can trust. Two people could be perfect for each other but someone just picked up a mix signal out of fear of getting to close and begins to squirm, setting in motion a series of small events that eventually push them apart to later try someone new. How fragile and intricate these dances are. Trying to keep in step with our partners. Read the through the message and into the meaning. Trust them as we struggle to trust our own judgement and understanding. A slight crack in any individual part is enough to shatter the entire floor out from beneath us. How do we know who to trust?

I just hope that there are more people out there that think like I do. I'm becoming constantly concerned that I over analyize everything in my life and I need to relax before I give myself a stroke.. but whatever.

I just miss that overwhelming feeling. Of being consumed by someone else. Falling into them and just feeling connected. I just think I need my life to be as intense as I can possibly make it. So if I feel love, it needs to be of the burning sort. So I try and constantly try to slam my feelings into people like two peices of flint striking together to make a spark. I can't be one to take my time and feel out the situation, I need instant love and emotion. It's happened to me once before and I'd love to have a feeling like that again. It was like a drug. I think it was the true feeling of love. I don't nessecarily think that you have one true love. But It's just so rare to find another person with as much fire in them as you do..

Maybe I'm just paranoid too much... I'm actually physically giving myself a headache thinking about it..